In the year 2000

"Chickens will begin laying eggs far more quickly once they taste their first western omelet."
"The serenity of 'Sesame Street' will be shattered when Silent 'E' finally snaps and guns down the other letters." "This holiday season, aliens that look exactly like fresh-baked gingerbread men will pick the worst possible time to invade earth." "The polar icecaps will melt, but the earth's coastal cities will be spared from flooding when quick-thinking authorities hand Kirstie Alley a straw." "During a press conference, George W. Bush will admit that he ignored warnings about the possibility of faulty intelligence, warnings that began when he was in the first grade."